Kickass, the doorstop dog, informs the keeper that if the Earth were a tennis ball, no dog would fetch it, there being no fun in playing with what is coming to resemble a rotting meatball being picked over by opportunistic vultures and consumed by rich magots.

The keeper agrees and adds that it is only a matter of time: The once tenuous coatings of truth and intelligence on the big ball have been licked off by the tongues of narcissistic greed and downright stupidity, and it is about to sink into a galactic cesspool.

Some key indicator words, phrases, and circumstances:

*Minority and dictatorial representation.

*Sexist, misogynistic white men full of little blue pills and suffering from moral ID—”Intelligence Deficient.”

*Hapless women—albeit a Repub minority, agreeing to laws demanding that their daughters bear incestuous rapists’ babies.



*Something in the water—in Wisconsin it’s cow manure.

*Politicized, unjust justice system.

With “fetch” no longer being a viable shared canine—human command, the keeper hopes that “lie down and rollover,” is also eliminated and new emphasis is put on “sit and stay” so he can still be around—maybe on the couch, to see where the first big tsunami hits.