The White House defense team and our Republican Lawmakers say so.


I’ve always thought that the main difference between us humans and other animals is not apposable thumbs. Oh no, the difference lies in our ability to come up with lame self-serving rationalizations at the drop of a hat to explain our misdeeds, no matter how egregious. If I’m right on this, the White House attorneys reached the pinnacle of the evolutionary pyramid during the first day of Q & A in the Impeachment Trial of Donald John Trump.


With the Republican lawmakers, from Mitch McConnell on down having painted themselves into a coronary (my wife’s turn of phrase), Alan Dershowitz—emphasis on show—and his supporting cast launched forth with their most breathtaking resuscitation argument.


Every Republican trial balloon lay popped and shriveled on the floors of both chambers of Congress as another whopper bursting with hot air was introduced as if all of us voters are as dumb as they think we are. The whopper that two hands, or even the wingspan of Davante Adams, can’t handle boils down to this.


If you have something I want, it’s OK for me to steal it from you as long as I think I would be better at using it than you would be.


What? It’s OK to steal the presidency? Our democracy? Our lives? Are they kidding? No, really, that’s what the White House attorneys said and all, or almost all, Republican Senators are just as pleased as punch with the contrivance. They now argue that, if Donald Trump thinks he would be the best president for our country during the next term, then he has the right to coerce a foreign power, Ukraine, to come up with lies about his challengers for the office by withholding money that is allocated by law and desperately needed to fend off an enemy, Russia, bent on global domination—a quest that will ultimately be paid for with the blood of our children.


This is horrendous. This is exactly what the framers who actually constituted the Constitution were talking about! But what are the consequences in our daily lives if Trump is acquitted on this argument? If you’ve got a shiny sportscar, I’ve got a neighbor who thinks he would be a better racecar driver than you. Padlock your garage now!


If you’ve got tickets for a dream vacation you’ve been saving up for, she knows she would enjoy it more. Tell no one! If your grandchild has a candy bar on the playground, there’s a bully who just knows it would taste better to him. Better have her skip recess!


There’s a bully in the White House who knows he could make our United States of America line his coffers more efficiently if he could just shatter our democracy beneath his totalitarian boot. Better not shine his shoes!


But of course, so-called Republican lawmakers continue to shine Donald’s boots. Republican senators are applying all the elbow grease they can muster. Some are doing their best to not actually be seen doing any buffing. But they’re beaming at their reflections in those same well-polished boots just the same.


Three-quarters of Americans think there should be witnesses during the trial, and the one-quarter who oppose witnesses do so because they know how damning those witnesses would be to Trump. The Republicans in congress are behaving just as you would expect their counterparts in Russia to behave. If we care about our country and our children, we must remember their treachery in November.


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