Grab your cell phone. Go to google maps. Click on satellite view. Search for Beijing, China. Zoom in. Want to sit on the roof of the Mausoleum of Mao Zedong? Zero in – you’re there. How about the Beijing Marriott Hotel? Not a problem. Wander around Tianamen Square? Go for it. Check out the curving roof ridges on the buildings in the Forbidden City? It’s all yours. Hungry? Head for Hongrongyuan Dumpling or Wankelai Beefsteak Hotpot. Heard they’re great!

Ah, but let’s head back to America. Do a search for the White House, Pennsylvania Ave. Wander around the South Lawn. Isn’t the shadow from the flag and flag pole on the roof of the White House cool? And the top of the dome on the US Capitol is something to see.

But this is all old hat. Head for Kremlin, Moscow, Russia. Look at all the air conditioning units on the roof. Must be a comfy place. The onion domes are fun too. Annunciation Cathedral and Cathedral of the Archangel are right next door. Got tickets to the Bolshoi Theater? Staying at the Ararat Park Hyatt tonight. It’s a five star and not too long a walk. Lots of cars lined up outside the theater. Busy place. Heading for the Tkemali Restaurant for dinner tomorrow. Top rated!

Now, think about it. This is your cell phone. The hundreds of satellites the US, China, and Russia have orbiting above one another might have slightly better resolution. Like what kind of screw head is on the fasteners holding the sheet metal in place on the Kremlin’s air conditioners? Or is the rope frayed on the White House flag pole?

Oh, but wait!! China had a balloon drift over America!! An eminent threat to all that is good and holy!! Thank God for the two weeks of breathless news coverage by all the US news media. And for the brave warriors in the F-22 who brought the monstrous thing down with the $400,000 missile. We’re safe again from the Yellow Plague!

One seldom thinks of circus clowns much anymore. But on further thought, balloons and circus clowns go together and it turns out one can watch the clowns any day of the week. They’re disguised as journalists and they perform at the New York Times, the Washington Post, CBS, NBC, Fox, MSNBC, and even at PBS. It’s quite a show!